January 19, 2011, this is the day of his departure..Aalis sya papuntang Dubai to work there as nurse sa isang hospital doon..He will work there to support the needs of his baby boy...Few days left na lang aalis na sya..Nalulungkot ako kasi hinde ko na sya makakasama..I hurt him, and that's why lumayo siya sakin. Although humingi na ako ng sorry for what I've done but I felt ilang pa rin sya skin..I know this is the consequence of what I have done. I kiss him while I'm drunk..nabigla siya..Ako din nabigla, I dont know why I did that thing. All I thought everything will be ok but it turned out mali pala ako..I ask for his forgiveness and he said its ok, but deep inside of him I know its not yet ok..We meet the third time, same place sa cubao..This is the time para kausapin ko sya ng masinsinan but the spirit of liquor resides on my mind...Nawala na naman ako sa sarili ko, I did the same thing, I hurt him again for the second time..And this time aalis na talaga sya papuntang Dubai..Wala na akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanya..I ruin our friendship, I ruin everything..I deserve it..For all the things Ive done, siguro tama nga ang mga nangyayari sakin ngayon..Im mad at myself, I cant control myself..I cried a lot..Yun lang ang magagawa ko ang umiyak ng umiyak..last night online sya sa FB..I chat him, sabi ko sorry for all the things...Keep safe..Ingat ka sa pag-alis mo..At ingat ka dun..I didn't wait for his reply, because I know hinde na nya ako kakausapin..Im ready for that..That's why nag-out na lang ako ng FB..I dont want to see him online, it hurts me a lot..Knowing na galit siya sakin..I ruined everything...Tomorrow flight nya na..Gusto ko man tawagan siya, hinde ko magagawa, for sure hinde naman nya sasagutin ang tawag ko..Mas masasaktan lang ang kalooban ko..
One year, yes one year..I think its enough para mag-isip..to have a better me..I should learn to leave GML again for one year..I should grow as a man..Childish pa rin ako, that's why marami akong nasasaktang tao..Self-improvement, yan ang goal ko sa buhay..And when the day comes na magkikita ulet kami, kaya ko ng kausapin sya ng matino, ng hinde nag-iinarte..I shoould act professional, I should behave properly..Siguro nga tama ang kaibigan ko.."For you , pra magustuhan ka ng isang guy, you should act professional, magpakadisente ka naman..You're just 21, hello meron nga dyan nasa 50 na but still nangangarap pa magkaroon ng lovelife..Wag kang emo..babatukan kita dyan eh.." He's right. I should learn to know myself more..Hinde pa ata ako handa para sa isang relasyon..I just want a relatonship but I dont know how to work the relationship para magtagal..
For you, alam mo kung sino ka..I just want to say Sorry..Sorry..Sorry..I know words wouldn't help, I ask for your forgiveness..Bukas flight mo na..I want for your success..Ingat ka kahit san ka man magpunta..And when the time comes na magkita ulit tayo, I assured you a better me..An updated version of me..Goodluck in all your endeavors..Bye..See you soon..
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